Gonzo, the Zombie Attorney General.

I begin today reading about Oscar, the 2 year old feline who seems to have the uncanny ability to detect which of the residents of the “Steere House Nursing Rehabilitation Center” in Providence, Rhode Island are about to die. According to an article in New England Journal of Medicine, Oscar sniffs the patients who suffer from various forms of dementia, and about four hours before they float into that big confusion-in-the-sky, he curls up next to them and goes to sleep. He’s gotten it right 25 out of 25 times, even when the doctors and nurses didn’t. Why he does this is anybodies guess. Perhaps he is answering some long unused genetic guide for scavengers, or some suppressed urge to comfort ailing members of his pride, or maybe it’s just the heated blankets they put on dieing patients. But somebody needs to let Oscar know that Alberto “Gonzo” Gonzales has been up Capital Hill again and under oath again and folks, even I with an allergy stuffing up my nose I can tell this guy is d-e-a-d, dead.
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But he’s still walking around, so call him the “Gonzo, the zombie Attorney General”, I guess. Like, ten minutes after Gonzo slinked out of the Senate Judiciary Committee room the staff pulled out documents showing that he lied; not that he fudged or shaded the truth. The little pisher lied. And there are a number of Republican Senators from the “Gang of Eight” who have already told members of the press that the 2004 briefings Gonzo insisted were not about the secret NSA wire tapping program, were, in fact, precisely about the secret NSA wire tapping program. I don’t know what I’m most offended by, that Gonzo is such an inveterate liar or that he is such a bad one.
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My God, George, how low will you go before you dump this little pisher? He’s Fredo from The Godfather, for God’s sake. Give him a job but nothing important, for Christ’s sake. What has he got on you that you can’t fire him? What, does he know where the twins keep their birth control pills or something? Or maybe you’ve got something on Gonzo that keeps him from quitting, because no normal human would subject themselves to this level of humiliation day after day. He’s such a weasel. He is such a brown nosing little incompetent. He’s such a liar. Every time he opens his mouth Bush’s approval ratings drop a point or two. Having him take the oath before testifying is a waste of time, they should just beginning by saying, “We are assuming that everything you say today will be a lie”. And Gonzo can smile that insipid little smile of his and say, “I don’t have a problem with you assuming that”, and we could just move on to the lying and the blustering and posturing and be done with it.
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Meanwhile, The Politico has a column detailing how the Republican lobbyists are jumping ship and, more, are actually giving money to the Democrats. Christopher Cox, who works for The DC Navigators, a GOP only firm, recently held a fun raiser for Allen Boyd, freshman D-Florida. I believe the phrase is, “rats leaving the ship”. Not that I am implying that Republicans are rats. Rather I think of them more as a wayward flock that have lost their way. But what is becoming increasingly clear is that the Bush Team were the biggest bunch of incompetent jack assess in American history, and only the equal jackasses in the past Republican congress prevented the American people from seeing that.
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The Emperor has no clothes. And in the naked Bush, I guess Gonzo would be the butt. And I think we know what body part Dick Cheney is.
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