Do You Smell Something?

I guess you could compare it to waking up to soft unexpected affections, and through barely opened eyelids seeing your aficionado as only a moving mass of blond hair. And as your pleasure builds toward release you become more awake and you look down into the marble blue eyes of…Ann Coulter. Ewwwwww. All together now, Ewwwwww. Okay, so after you soak your offending member in pure alcohol until the flesh falls off - because you know you could never trust it again – how do you feel? How about “sickened, ashamed, appalled and afraid someone might find out? Well now you know how most Repub candidates feel about Resident Shrub right now. “Sorry, George, who?” I hear them say. “Sorry, don’t recognize the name. Are you sure he was President? And you say he was a Republican. No, I’m drawing a complete blank.”
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Sorry about the first part. It’s just that the Couter-giest…Is she the living embodiment of the term “harridan” or what? It comes from the French, “haridelle” meaning an old gaunt horse, and is defined as “a worn-out strumpet; a vixenish woman, a hag,” or “a scolding, vicious woman, a hag, or a shrew.” “Grose’s “1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue, defines a “hag” as “a hagged old woman; miserable, scraggy, worn-out harlot,…”.So, …gaunt, vicious, hate filled, vengeful, worn-out, scolding, miserable, scraggy …yup, that’s our Ann. How dare Ann Cold-tits even suggest the term fits somebody else. Now, what was I saying? Oh, yeah.
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In 2002 Shrub raised $180 million for Repub candidates. This time around he couldn’t raise a temperature with a light bulb up his behind. Last Monday night Shrub held a little get together for the GOP Senatorial Committee, the kind of soiree where you pay a bundle to get your picture taken with the big guy and you put it on your wall to impress all the sycophants that you covet. But on Monday most of the attendees agreed to come only with the promise there would be no press and no pictures, please. It was a “behind the green doors” fundraiser, a secret fundraiser, like the ones Dick held with the oil companies and like the ones the Mafia holds for neighborhood merchants.
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The lobbyist are terrified they’re going to get caught in a camera flash as they came out of the Repub shake down and then the Demos could write their attack ad in about eight seconds. “These are the Washington fat-cats and who still support George Bush. And Senator What’s His Name.” Ewwww. Nobody wants to be in a photo with Shrub. He might as well be Griffen, the albino who studies refractive index and becomes H.G. Wells’ “Invisible Man”, except of course, Shrub couldn’t describe refraction if his life depended on it, let alone use it. Refractive, reflective; Shrub isn’t interested in any of those “Re” words, except of course, repose.
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The last time Shrub was on the campaign trail was in 2006, when he tried to help Senator George Allen. Remember him? Yeah, that’s my point. Allen’s approval numbers actually went down after Shrub showed his face. And this next time around the Repubs are not likely to use Shrub anywhere the voters get cable TV. This election cycle Shrub will be visiting swing states like Kentucky, Alabama and Kansas. Yea, swing states. So, is it party time for Democratic Party? Lisa Miller, a fundraiser for the R.N.C., was quoted as saying, “Sitting here, in the place where the money is raised, I can tell you he is still a gigantic draw”: meaning Shrub, and meaning drawing money, as opposed to drawing flies, .and meaning that Ms. Miller is full of manure.
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And speaking of manure, Steve Chapman at Reason On Line has a great opening to hos column for July 16th (http://www.reason.com/news/show/121398.html)
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“Ronald Reagan used to tell the story of a boy so optimistic that when he woke up on Christmas morning and was confronted with a huge mound of manure, he gleefully began shoveling. "There's a pony in here someplace!" he exclaimed.”
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Chapman goes on to say that for Shrub, when it comes to Iraq, every day is Christmas day, “…though even Republicans are starting to suspect that the malodorous pile is that and nothing more.”
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Do you smell something? Yeah, me too. And I think it is Ann.
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